Today has to be one of the best days of homecoming (granted its only the second). Today we had a snake charmer/hypnotist show.
The snake charmer came first. She came down the middle aisle saying “lalalalala!” like you’d expect a woman from and African tribe to say it, except she was white, hippy-ish, and about 45 years old. She had on an outfit like a belly dancer with purple mesh around her midsection. It was not a good look. it was actually pretty gross looking. She then continued to molest several guys in the audience by rubbing their faces and gyrating all in front of them. It was hilarious. She wasn’t much of snake charmer. She just pretty much hung them around her neck and put them on her head. It was weird.
Then after that there was the hypnotist. FUNNIEST THING EVER!!!! I can’t remember everything he did but I will tell you my favorite parts.
1. Okay, one of the things he did was make two guys think they were giving birth. The guys were screaming and yelling. This guy, Marcus, was the funniest. When the babies were “delivered” he got all emotional. He was like, “Its my little boy. I’m going to name him Tyler”
2. The hypnotist told the same boy, Marcus, that he was a kangaroo who had to feed his baby by putting bread in his pouch (his pants). The guy jumped out his seat and hopped more like a kangaroo than I knew was possible. It was super weird. He then stuffed like 12 pieces of bread down his pants. When the hypnotist released them from their sleep he made it so none of them would remember what happened until they left the room and Marcus would not remember about the bread until he left the building. So when Marcus got out the room he remembered most of what happened and was talking to his friends while leaving, when he noticed about 100 people following him (we wanted to see him realize the bread was in his pants). He took off running and we all ran after him. As soon as he stepped out the building he began pulling bread from his pants. He then dropped trou and tried to get the rest. I guess he must have been embarrassed because he took off running again.
3. Another funny part was when the hypnotist make another guy think that his penis fell off. He was walking through the crowd asking people, “Have you seen my d**k?” And then the hypnotist made him sit back down at which point he realized that his penis was miraculously back. He began rubbing his crotch in a way that made everyone feel a bit amused and awkward at the same time.
4. The last funny thing, was when the hypnotist said that when he said x-ray, all the volunteers would see him naked except he would be extremely “well hung”. When he said it most of them completely freaked out. One guy seemed to feel inadequate and kept peeking in his own pants then back at the hypnotist. He asked them one by one what was wrong and they proceeded to tell him his “thing” was out. When he asked one girl what was wrong she gazed at him for a minute, smiled and said, “Nooothing!” I thought I was going to die of laughter. He then walked behind another guy and rested his arm on the guy’s shoulder. The guy looked back at the man’s arm for like 2 seconds then hopped up and ran screaming, “Oh [insert expletive]!!!” SOOOO FUNNY!!!
So that was my night; both disgusting and hilarious!!!